Don’t mess with Texas, they are paranoid crackpots

Gov. Greg Abbott ordered the Texas State Guard to monitor U.S. military training exercises scheduled for his state. Some had feared the government was preparing to impose martial law in Texas.

Texas Governor Backtracks After Pentagon Denies Takeover Plot : NPR

Abbott somehow got the idea that the Special Forces exercise (code named Operation Jade Helm 15), taking place in several states, was a cover for President Obama to impose martial law on Texas.

You see, there are these Wal-Marts in West Texas that supposedly closed for six months for “renovation.” That’s what they want you to believe. The truth is these Wal-Marts are going to be military guerrilla-warfare staging areas and FEMA processing camps for political prisoners. The prisoners are going to be transported by train cars that have already been equipped with shackles.

It ALL MAKES SENSE! No it doesn’t. It’s batshit crazy and, as Wade Goodwin notes in the NPR piece below, Abbott got heat from it. How would this even be possible? Let alone, WHY? It’s irrational all around. Does Texas not have real problems to deal with that they have to invent such outrageous drama?

An Army Colonel who tried to explain was shouted down by the “patriots”. He was attempting a rational argument with people who were not following the same rules of logic. You can’t win.

Name-dropped in this story are some reprehensible characters – InfoWars, WorldNews Daily and Chuck Norris (who apparently thinks he’s a REAL Texas Ranger). Welcome to ConspiracyLand. They have guns.
chuck norris

The people of Texas should not stand for their money being spend on such wasteful insanity. This is the harm that comes from conspiracies – misdirected attention to garbage instead of real world problems.

  34 comments for “Don’t mess with Texas, they are paranoid crackpots

  1. Mike C.
    May 6, 2015 at 8:59 AM

    I just heard about that new crackpot conspiracy on NPR this morning. Too funny.

  2. Steve
    May 6, 2015 at 9:00 AM

    Other than the politicians saying such crazy (I don’t use that term lightly) things, I find it very scary that they might actually believe them.

    I remember a lot of this garbage when Bill Clinton was president (one of the few benefits of age).

    Still, one of the great things about the right to free speech, it gives everyone a chance to see what a fool you are. I exercise that right daily.

  3. May 6, 2015 at 9:14 AM

    There is obviously government distrust fueling these conspiracies. I feel like it will take a good long time to work it out. Meanwhile, we have money, energy and emotion wasted on this. Is there a strategy that might work to pull people away from the illogical abyss?

  4. SmOakley
    May 6, 2015 at 10:02 AM

    Jon Stewart did this story the other night. He says it is cute that Texas thinks its militia could take on the USA army. That America already took Texas over and they might know if they read a text book from a nearby state.

  5. MisterNeutron
    May 6, 2015 at 10:08 AM

    I’m confused – don’t real “patriots” support the U.S. military, 1000%, all of the time? These nutjobs can’t seem to decide whether they love the Army, or fear the Army.

    I’m reminded of some of the anti-ACA folks who were saying things like, “The Government should keep its hands off my Medicare.” That level of confusion is tough to counter.

    Some have suggested that we calm these folks down by closing all of the military bases in TX, and relocating those troops elsewhere. And defense spending certainly shouldn’t be directed to any TX suppliers. I’m sure they’d be really, really happy about that. Nudge-nudge, wink-wink.

  6. SCricket
    May 6, 2015 at 11:12 AM

    “America already took Texas over”?


    Which textbook exactly is that in?

  7. Dana
    May 6, 2015 at 11:20 AM

    This would make a great sci-fi movie.

  8. May 6, 2015 at 11:24 AM

    After declaring their independence from the Republic of Mexico in 1836, the vast majority of Texas citizens favored the annexation of the Lone Star Republic by the United States. The leadership of both major American political parties, the Democrats and the Whigs, strenuously objected to introducing Texas, a vast slave-holding region, into the volatile political climate of the pro- and anti-slavery sectional controversies in Congress.

  9. Steve
    May 6, 2015 at 11:31 AM

    One day I was thinking about this distrust of the government and where it comes from. There are the obvious answers of the horrors of the Tuskegee experiment, feeding radioactive cereal to children with mental disabilities, forced sterilization, all the treaties we made and broke with native Americans, not letting women vote, and slavery. There are a lot of positives as well.

    What I concluded is the US Federal government is the most powerful institution on Earth, between the armed forces, the power of the dollar, the power to tax, the FBI (which does not have a good reputation in my city of Boston), the justice system, all the secrecy involved, the NSA monitoring, and how corrupt it seems.

    That kind of power can be downright scary, if one does not think or feel that they are somehow part of it.

    And the blowhards that feed into that paranoia to get rich, feel power, or important to the people that may not be able to think rational or critically certainly don’t help the situation.

    That’s why your website and postings are awesome! and important! To take that step back, breathe, and think rationally about an issue. And when something is just downright crazy, calling out elected officials that support irrational beliefs.

  10. Sam
    May 6, 2015 at 3:33 PM

    I am sure the people that foreseen bad things coming before WW2 were called “crackpots” as well. I don’t know that there is anything evil about Jade Helm but it is surely out of the ordinary. I, for one, am glad there are people keeping a watch on the things going on around us. You snooze, you lose!

  11. May 6, 2015 at 3:56 PM

    I’m afraid the absence of anyone disappearing into a FEMA concentration camp, the reopening of a Walmart (or lack of any Walmart closed for renovation – our local Walmart was open during its renovation) or any other contradicting evidence will only “prove” the governor “saved” them from Obama. Issac Asimov took the title for one of his novels from a quote I still recall: Against stupidity the gods themselves contend in vain.”

  12. AMercer
    May 6, 2015 at 3:58 PM

    What I fear more is a local militia deciding that they too want to “observe” and get in the way of the exercise and actually start some violence. Then the wackos will use that as justification for further wacko behavior.

  13. Richard
    May 6, 2015 at 4:59 PM

    And since NASA keeps coming up with inconvenient facts about climate change, maybe the Johnson Space Center should be closed as well and the scientists relocated elsewhere ….

  14. May 6, 2015 at 7:31 PM

    No, they weren’t. That was a WORLD WAR. This is paranoia with no evidence, no logic, no rationale. It’s absurd.

  15. May 6, 2015 at 7:35 PM

    American Conspiracy Theories by Uscinski and Parent goes into the history of this a bit. (I think, I was reading a bunch of stuff about conspiracies at the time). But there was a series of incidents that gave people damn good reason to be paranoid (Watergate, Iran Contra, etc.) Conspiracies are hard to argue against because they DO EXIST. But then some people are irrational and take it to extremes.

    Thanks for the compliment. I don’t know how much good it does but it’s the best we can do.

  16. rhapakatui
    May 6, 2015 at 7:58 PM

    I think you nailed it when you said Texas is so awesome that the paranoid people have to make up problems.

    We’ve got a few goofballs, but what large group doesn’t?

    I agree that using a closed walmart for military training isn’t scary, but if a friend said they were worried about it, I’d say let’s go watch. No harm in that. My mom knew there was no boogeyman in the closet, but she still opened the door to show me rather than calling me a moron.

  17. rhapakatui
    May 6, 2015 at 8:29 PM

    It seems that comment was put on mod review. Either I hit some keywords, or I was recognized as being a proud Texan and planned for ahead of time.

    I’ll use this opportunity to expound on my idea.

    Maybe Texas is just SO badass that our crackpots are afraid we make the rest of the country jealous…. ok you don’t have to be a crackpot to think that. I know envy when I see it.

    I still don’t think the federal government would send troops to attack it’s best state. I just see where the misguided train of thought could have originated.

  18. rhapakatui
    May 6, 2015 at 8:51 PM

    Don’t be confused. You’re wrong.

  19. May 6, 2015 at 10:36 PM

    I never said Texas was awesome. And I think you have more than goofballs, you have goofballs in power. With guns.

  20. rhapakatui
    May 7, 2015 at 12:36 AM

    “Does Texas not have real problems to deal with that they have to invent such outrageous drama?”

    I may have paraphrased a bit.

    I actually know one person who believes this crap. I think she also believes in fairies though so…

    I may have missed a link within a link along the way, but I never read where Governor Abbott said he believed any of the conspiracy crap. All I read was that he acknowledged the people who do and gave the Texas state guard something to do.

    Yes they have guns. So did the weird cop who came to the school to teach us about drugs in the 5th grade.  I don’t see the issue there.

    I think the mother checking the closet for monsters analogy fits perfectly.

    ….and Texas is awesome.

  21. BobM
    May 7, 2015 at 1:44 AM

    It is bat shit crazy, but I’d like to know what happens to these people when it doesn’t come true. I mean it’s not like the end of times, which can be sort of put off for ever – or is it? These are fairly specific claims, just like that old fool who predicted the end of the world. I’d like to mess with their minds on this by doing a ‘war of the worlds’ thing, but the way things are in Texas people might get killed :-).

  22. Adam
    May 7, 2015 at 6:33 AM

    Paranoia aside, if the US army were really imposing martial law on Texas for some reason, then a few wheezy overweight blobs with guns would pose as much threat to their plans as a dripping tap.

  23. David
    May 7, 2015 at 8:56 AM

    They don’t need the Texas State Guard to beat the Feds, just send in The Chuckster with his roundhouse kick (in slow motion of course).

  24. Peter
    May 7, 2015 at 9:25 AM

    Good grief. I can’t even… wrap my brain around this. What has happened to people that they could believe such nonsense? And the scariest part of all, like the article stated, they all have guns. If I had kids and lived in Texas, I would seriously get my family out of there pronto.

  25. chemical
    May 7, 2015 at 11:56 AM

    As a Texan and former veteran, I’ve been considering it. I can’t believe that ‘patriots’ would shout down a Colonel — you know, someone who actually protects them. Even more unbelievably, Rick Perry was the voice of reason over the whole affair. And here I was thinking, when he left office things would improve here.

  26. CLamb
    May 7, 2015 at 2:16 PM

    They will congratulate themselves for having prevented it happening by exposing the plans.

  27. busterggi (Bob Jase)
    May 7, 2015 at 2:52 PM

    Not only is it the military they support 100% but its the military they’ve been begging to overthrow the elected government because they’re so patriotic.

  28. Overkill
    May 7, 2015 at 8:41 PM

    I was thinking the exact same thing.

    They’ll be patting themselves on the back for heading ’em off at the pass.

  29. Overkill
    May 7, 2015 at 8:51 PM

    I’m honestly not so sure about that.

    There’s quite a few examples in the history of warfare where a smaller, apparently weaker force has bested a much larger, better resourced force. The Viet Cong springs to mind and Al-Qaeda are causing U.S and allied troops plenty of trouble.

  30. F89
    May 7, 2015 at 10:05 PM

    Isn’t this a re hash of the same thing we heard that would happen under Bush Jr, Clinton, Bush Sr, and Regan? These things seem to pop up, die down, and get “dusted off”, updated to fit the time period, and re-used.
    Admittedly, this is the first time I’ve heard of it getting this wacky.

  31. Adam
    May 8, 2015 at 6:48 AM

    Both Al Qaeda and the Viet Cong operated from places with extremely porous borders, and with beligerant nations who supplied them with arms. Even then, the battles were entirely asymmetric with mass casualties on one side. If Texas were really under martial law (implying a US government that didn’t care about popular opinion) then it would be trivial for the military to impose order, whether some locals had guns or not.

  32. One Eyed Jack
    May 9, 2015 at 7:43 PM

    It’s interesting that you mention “believes in fairies” as some sort of aspersion. 85% of the US population believes in supernatural beings. They gather in churches to discuss and worship them by different names. So, what makes faeries crazy and the rest sane? How is belief in one fantastical, invisible creature different from another?

    I’m not attacking you. I just find the artificial dichotomy interesting.

  33. Trey
    May 10, 2015 at 12:13 PM

    Most of the guys I grew up with are tinfoil hat wearing, right wing true Believers. Capitol “B”. They %100 believe this and post ‘articles’ on Facebook constantly. Seriously, they’ve been stocking up on guns and ammunition for the past 6 years waiting for FEMA and the UN to come for them and their guns to stick them in hidden Concentration camp. The one thing the wack-job stories never explain is WHY this is supposed to happen, or how the thousands and thousands of US personnel supposed to take part in this are okay with it and haven’t told a soul about it. It’s completely insane nonsense! It’s kind of scary how many Americans really believe stuff like this.

  34. May 11, 2015 at 7:06 PM

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