God: I prefer his earlier work

It seems the devil doesn’t just have the best music, God is deficient in lines of communication from the afterlife too.

Various spirits are using social media such as Facebook, and “selfies” on cell-phones to communicate with the living, the creator of the universe apparently favours a more abstract,
low-tech approach.  This includes communicating via savoury fruit, as with this egg-plant in Baton Rouge this week:


Interestingly this isn’t the first time that God has allegedly chosen to communicate via eggplant, Felicia Teske of Boothwyn Pennsylvania also found the word of God in her fruit (pictured below) in 2007. Also, if you squint, there appears to be a crude sketch of Penn Gillette above the “o” in God. Or is that just me? This God/Gillette eggplant was later listed on E-Bay for $1000. 

godplant 2


Fortunately God isn’t just restricted to signing his name on fruit. The Huffington Post reports today, that God has rather insensitively signed his name in the regrown hair of recovering cancer sufferer, Kristen Kisse of Willow Springs, Maryland. While, I’m grateful to see her recovering and hope that her recovery continues, even though Kristen sees this as comforting, a sign of God’s hand in her recovery, a more cynical person may point out that an omnipotent creator could have prevented the illness initially.  What if God is indicating that he put her through this hideous ordeal in the first place?



The most striking thing of the above images is that if this is the work of an omnipotent being, why can’t he get the whole way through his title without going “a bit wrong” on the “D”?  Also why is he still just writing his name in and on things like an unimaginative. twelve-year-old, graffitist.

The easy answer would be that the above images, and other instances of simulacrum, are just the phenomena of pareidolia. Eggplant seeds are sometimes distributed in a way that resembles letters, curly hair often grows in a way that resembles curved letters.

I wonder how many actually take these things seriously. Do they actually believe that the being they worship has gone from writing books to mucking about with the innards of fruit, the tops of toast and other food stuffs?

It would perhaps be more significant if the word “God” was never formed from random patterns.

  20 comments for “God: I prefer his earlier work

  1. July 10, 2014 at 10:34 PM

    Perhaps God, in His infinite Wisdom, could hire a typographer.

  2. David H
    July 11, 2014 at 1:20 AM

    I’d settle for a line or two in helvetica.

  3. Peter Robinson
    July 11, 2014 at 2:40 AM

    I reckon it’s a message from he who works in mysterious ways to say that despite what it says in the bibble, he is in favour of gay rights. Fruit = Gay, doesn’t it? Obvious when you think about it.

  4. July 11, 2014 at 3:23 AM

    And there’s this brilliant sketch from Mitchell and Webb: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZCL4dXUtblg

  5. July 11, 2014 at 5:47 AM

    Heaven must be one of those really awkward work environments where the Boss takes it personally if you say He might be wrong.

    GOD: “I’ll make myself known through fresh fruit and grilled cheese sandwiches! People love that stuff!”

    Gabriel: “Um, Sir, perhaps this time You should consider a more direct approach…”

    GOD: (Pulls on a lever that He has just willed into being)

    Gabriel: (Falls through a trap door in the clouds) I’m sorry Siiiirrrrrrrrrr…!

  6. bbnewsab
    July 11, 2014 at 5:54 AM

    How true believers are gullible and how they yry to “reason”, view http://www.arcamax.com/entertainment/weirdnews/s-1546443?ezine=11 .

    Some quotes from that article:

    The blessed [eggplant] was cut in such a manner that its seeds appeared to say “GOD” on the inside. (…) “I saw a miraculous image formed by the seeds”. (…) [God is] showing me that ‘hey, I’m real’ and that’s the only thing I can depend on,” Brady said. I don’t know what it means. All I know is it tells me ‘hey, he’s real’ and there’s nothing that can change my mind about that.

  7. bbnewsab
    July 11, 2014 at 6:02 AM

    Oh, I see now that Sharon already has linked to this news here above. But my point is still valid. True believers value proof and evidence in a very subjective way, full of wishful thoughts.

  8. July 11, 2014 at 7:21 AM

    And why always in English???

  9. Sam
    July 11, 2014 at 7:56 AM

    I’m wondering when god switched over to English from some older language. Also, I’d be more impressed if the eggplant revealed “Jehovah” or “Waheguru”.

  10. busterggi
    July 11, 2014 at 8:42 AM

    I’ll be;ieve it when the eggplants grows its missing half back.

    And why doesn’t god leave his name in bananas?

  11. skeptictmac57
    July 11, 2014 at 8:44 AM

    Eggplant eh? I’m gonna guess it’s a cryptic message about birth control? Sounds right. Let’s go with that.

  12. Banana
    July 11, 2014 at 8:56 AM

    Look, we all know if this was god’s message it would read “We apologize for the inconvenience”

  13. Sindigo
    July 11, 2014 at 9:16 AM

    And the Devil would leave a Satanic scrawl in… Impact maybe?

  14. Todd
    July 11, 2014 at 2:03 PM

    I preferred God’s blue period–the sky, oceans, bluebirds, and the like. I really feel it is his best work.

  15. July 11, 2014 at 5:37 PM

    I totally agree!

  16. Brian
    July 12, 2014 at 9:21 AM

    Better than Comic Sans.

  17. RandyRandy
    July 13, 2014 at 6:33 AM

    And the Devil would definitely use Zapf Chancery, all caps. He’s deceptive like that.

  18. skeptictmac57
    July 13, 2014 at 9:48 AM

    No,surely the devil would resort to CAPTCHA

  19. Headless Unicorn Guy
    July 14, 2014 at 1:58 AM

    I’ve heard this called “Mary-in-a-Tortilla Syndrome”. Makes the news every couple months here in SoCal with the large Mexican/Central American Catholic population. But then, “Mary Channelling” of various sorts is the characteristically Catholic way to flake out.

    And Islam is not immune either; every so often you hear in the news of an eggplant (why is it always an eggplant?) that when sectioned reveals the Arabic word “Al’lah”.

  20. Lee
    July 14, 2014 at 11:09 AM

    Her hair does NOT display the word god. It clearly says GOO! If you count the 2 extra Os it says Goooo! Use her head as a sports cheer leading prop. A grand for the eggplant. How to preserve your 1000 dollar holy investment. I am awaiting someone to display the name god with their veracious veins or with their hemorrhoids!

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