Headmaster of school ousted because of goblins

Yes, it’s Zimbabwe again, the only place I’ve seen where goblins regularly terrorize schools.

Villagers say strange occurrences have been ongoing since the early 90s when Mr Moyo joined the school but things got worse last year when the goblins’ antics turned to sexual abuse.

Headmaster accused of owning goblins, ordered to leave school

VILLAGERS in Dongamuzi area under Chief Gumede in Lupane are demanding the transfer of Ekuphakameni Secondary School headmaster Mr Peter Moyo, whom they accuse of owning goblins that have been terrorising pupils and teaching staff at the school.

Female teachers at the school claimed that during the night they would dream making love to someone and woke up the next morning with signs that they would have actually had sex during the night.

Some male teachers also claimed that they woke up every morning wearing female panties whose origin they did not know.

A cleansing ceremony dubbed Wafawafa, was held at the school on 5 March this year by the International Healers’ Association, during which the villagers say Mr Moyo was exposed after an assortment of paraphernalia associated with witchcraft was recovered from his bedroom.

A traditional healer and chairperson of Zimbabwe National Traditional Healers Association (Zinatha) in Dongamuzi’s Ward One, Gogo Tabitha Ndebele, who led the cleansing ceremony, confirmed having conducted the cleansing ceremony.

She said the strange items recovered from the headmaster’s house were the ones that would turn into human-like creatures at night and terrorise teaching staff at the school.

What is going on here? We can’t say but there is a profound sense of superstition and distrust. I suppose they feel that just moving him away is the answer for them. I can think of half a dozen reasons why the relationship with the headmaster went bad without invoking “goblins”.

We’ve had several stories in the past regarding goblins causing trouble. Having a goblin in Zimbabwe is illegal (I’m not joking) so I wonder why he isn’t arrested. You know what, nevermind.

More on Zimbabwe goblins:

Goblin beheaded in Zimbabwe, house explodes killing five

Police run screaming from ‘goblin’ in Zimbabwe

Goblins blamed for unfortunate incidents in Zimbabwe

Goblins continue to run amok in Zimbabwe

Tricksy goblins steal underwear and cause fire

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  12 comments for “Headmaster of school ousted because of goblins

  1. Jack
    March 25, 2014 at 4:45 PM

    Rats, I had a nice Groupon coupon for a Zimbabwe Goblin tour, but now I can’t find 9 other people. CURSE you Z-Goblins!

  2. March 25, 2014 at 4:47 PM

    And just try getting a goblin to give you his name for the sex offender registry. They’ve gotten a lot more canny about that since the Stiltskin case.

  3. Wes
    March 25, 2014 at 4:51 PM

    Thank god that in the US, the right to keep and bear goblins is protected by the Constitution.

  4. March 25, 2014 at 10:07 PM

    That bit about it being illegal in Zimbabwe to have a goblin sounds interesting, where did you find that?

    • March 26, 2014 at 9:24 AM

      I found it through research in the other stories, so it had been stated in the press. Take that for what it’s worth.

  5. Óskar Bragi
    March 25, 2014 at 11:19 PM

    “What about goblins?” -George Carlin

  6. Woody
    March 26, 2014 at 1:36 AM

    The use of cryptids to explain incidences of sexual abuse is not uncommon. So often the evils people find in themselves are bestowed upon a ‘monster’ of some kind, to take humans out of the conclusion. Others, who have not suffered such abuse but only heard of the incidents, still would rather believe in the monster instead of admitting a far darker side of their own real species.

  7. March 26, 2014 at 1:41 PM

    This sounds a lot like the medieval concepts of incubus and succubus — used by some to justify various illicit actions, by others who had taken vows of chastity (to justify erotic dreams) and perhaps by others experiencing hypnagogic sleep disturbances. In modern times, the incubus/succubus has been replaced by alien night visitors.

    But what’s especially interesting in this story is that the headmaster is said to have admitted his guilt:

    “After we conducted the cleansing ceremony we were led to Moyo’s house where we recovered reeds, herbs, tree roots and many strange items from his wardrobe. We questioned him and he admitted that he was the one responsible for what was happening at the school.”

    Of course in the published news story, headmaster Moyo “refused to entertain any questions and referred all questions to his superiors at the Lupane District Education Office. ‘I can’t talk to you. Please get in touch with authorities at the district office. They are the ones who have the right to talk to you. I can’t,’ said Mr Moyo.”

    So did he fess up or not? I wonder if the supposed admission is another part of the web of confabulation created by villagers in order to justify the goblin’s sleep visitations.

    • Walter Turner
      March 26, 2014 at 4:49 PM

      “We questioned him and he admitted that he was the one responsible for what was happening at the school.”
      Not knowing what the original of this was, I wonder whether “We questioned him” is a mistranslation of “We put the question to him.”

      • March 27, 2014 at 12:05 AM

        Whether it’s “we questioned him” or “we put the question to him” (a nice distinction by the way), I think the real question is: What did he actually say? As Walter’s comment indicates, the matter of translation is possibly at issue. Perhaps “he admitted he was the one responsible” could be more like “As the headmaster, everything that happens is my responsibility.”

        • Walter Turner
          March 29, 2014 at 4:42 PM

          Jim, the only meaning I knew for the expression “to put the question” was the one in the following citation, so I was surprised to have to search through a lot of Google hits to find it. There wasn’t any fine distinction intended. On the contrary, I was suggesting that the confession might have been obtained by very “unfine” means.

          books.google.com/books?isbn=1605209147
          E. W. Bullinger – 2009 – ‎Religion
          …the phrase “to put the question” gave the name to the Inquisition, for that is the very meaning of the word. To “put the question” meant to examine by torture…

  8. busterggi
    March 26, 2014 at 10:24 PM

    Zimbabwe is off my list. I’m a “love me, love my goblin” kinda guy.

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