Holy TOENAILS, this is stupid

Ten years ago since the Virgin Mary grilled cheese sandwich was on eBay, Jesus Christ’s toenails are up for auction.

‘Jesus” toenails being sold from Key Largo on eBay – KeysNet.com.

The owner of the deified phalange’s coverings is selling them on eBay. “Condition: Used.”

The Reporter attempted to contact the seller through his or her eBay account, but to no avail.

It comes with an unverifiable, nonsense story “While traveling through Europe, I went to see a seer, or as Americans like to call them, ‘psychic.’ I stayed in Germany for a couple of months, then decided to travel.

“I found myself in a little border town in the Czech Republic. This short, little older woman, whom appeared to be about 150 years old, popped out of a doorway and grabbed my hand…”

You can’t get them DNA tested, she said. (Wrong, you can, to show that they are just a normal person, not supernatural.) Why she would give them away to be sold, instead of to a church as a relic, makes me sad for wasting my time writing up this post.

But, it was funny.

Sadly, this news piece was from Thursday and the listing that was set to expire on Tuesday has been removed. The bidding got up to $5.04.

Toenails are groady - no matter whose they are.

Toenails are groady – no matter whose they are.

  4 comments for “Holy TOENAILS, this is stupid

  1. Liam Huitzilopochtli
    November 24, 2013 at 3:50 PM

    Doesn’t ebay have a policy against hosting the sale of fake and counterfeit items? Surely this is an obvious candidate.

  2. BobM
    November 24, 2013 at 7:11 PM

    Hell, that’s nothing – you should see one of the many foreskins. Now they are really gross.

  3. eddi
    November 24, 2013 at 7:43 PM

    If they are toenails they are just keratin. No DNA in them. If there’s skin (ick) clinging to them (double ick), that could be checked for DNA but it would be hard to tell even species after a few years let alone match up with any Merovingian DNA samples hanging around.

  4. Chris Howard
    November 25, 2013 at 11:39 AM

    Shouldn’t this read “Holy Toenails, Batman!”?

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