Cleveland professors complain about EVIL pay raise!

Who knew law professors were such an ungrateful, superstitious lot who can’t have a laugh?

Cleveland Law Professors Believe they Were Called ‘Satan’ Through Suspicious Pay Raise Figure.

A group of law professors at a Cleveland college are pursuing legal action against their school’s administration for choosing a symbolic way of calling the faculty members “Satan,” the Wall Street Journal reported.

The complaining professors received a pay raise of $666, a figure in the Christian faith known as the Devil’s number. The raise came from Cleveland-Marshall College of Law’s (CMCL), a chapter of Cleveland State University, Dean, Craig M. Boise.

The school’s chapter of the American Association of University Professors has decided to file an unfair labor practice charge with Ohio’s State Employment Relations Board (SERB) in August. According to the complaint, six people received the merit raise and two did not receive one at all.

The complaint also alleged that the dean used the satanic raise figure as a method of retaliation against the professors who led the faculty unionization when they created their collective bargaining group.

“The Charging Party cannot point to a single directive, or even a reference, from the Dean to a ‘666′ or satanic merit pay amount for certain allegedly union-active faculty members,” the school said in a statement. “The $666 merit award was the result of mathematical division, not anti-union animus.”

They’re complaining about getting a raise? Hey, CMCL, if you want, you can just spend those additional $666 in monthly donations to us. The Paypal button is in the sidebar to the right! We’re not superstitious!

Tip: David O’Hare

  9 comments for “Cleveland professors complain about EVIL pay raise!

  1. October 31, 2013 at 7:27 PM

    To be fair, it could be Satan’s doing.

  2. WMcCreery
    October 31, 2013 at 7:29 PM

    Just retract the raise!

  3. October 31, 2013 at 7:30 PM

    Satan could also have introduced the stutter to the URL … or maybe it is just me being infected :). Should be :

  4. October 31, 2013 at 7:44 PM

    Often these numbers are random to take account of taxes, deductions etc. Oh stop whingeing – give the 6 bucks to charity – problem solved. Are these profs really that supersticious. So much for belief in science & ignoring supersticion. I wil refrain from rantinfurther, as the halloween season does me nut in with all these daft stories; Yes i’m a reluctant sceptical believer in some weird crap, but honest to ………. insert name of diety or anti deity, gets more & more insane this time of year. I’m Northern Irish, & tradition is the “veil is thin” this time of year, but i’m ready to explode with the silly season rubbish being thrown out this year. Dead people are for life, not just for helloween!

  5. October 31, 2013 at 8:37 PM

    LAW professors? I’m wondering if their reasoning might be “What a great coincidence this amount is! We can bring a lawsuit about this, the public and judges will be on OUR side, and we can get much more than this measly $666 raise!”

    But then, I might be cynical.

  6. daran
    November 1, 2013 at 3:54 AM

    If they knew the latest Biblical research, they would know that 666 is not anything to do with Satan at all.

  7. Chris Howard
    November 1, 2013 at 11:23 AM

    Wow! That’s my employee number! Do you think that entitles me to an extra six-hundred and sixty six dollars a month!

    If it does all I can say is “Hail Satan!”

  8. Brian
    November 1, 2013 at 10:32 PM

    Or, if autocorrect has its way: hail Stan!

  9. Chris Howard
    November 2, 2013 at 10:36 AM

    Or “hail satin”

Comments are closed.