God’s tears are aphid poop

Sometimes you have to call poop poop. This story is depressing.

People pray at tree outside St. Johns Cathedral in Fresno, California, say tree weeps God’s tears, experts say drippings are.

As the mid-day sun beat down, a group of parishioners huddled under a tree looking for shade, but seeking a miracle.

Rosemarie Navarro, a parishioner at a Fresno, California Catholic Church says, “I said my prayer and asked the Lord to give me a miracle cause I’m really, really sick.”

Navarro counts herself among the believers, a small but growing group that thinks the liquid dripping from this Crape Myrtle tree is the tears of God.

But it’s not tears of God, it’s aphid poop.

“The aphides will suck the sap, the sap goes through the aphid and then it is a honey dew excrement from the aphid and it gets so heavy in the summertime that it will drip down,” Reelhorn says.

I get that people are looking for a miracle, for hope. But this is ridiculous. Ignorance of the world around you in exchange for living in a fantasy is not a good strategy for a successful life. My heart breaks for Rosemarie who is sick. There is nothing I could say to her.

Tip: Marcus Sprenkel

  6 comments for “God’s tears are aphid poop

  1. August 11, 2013 at 11:31 AM

    Aphid’s excrement may be just as beneficial as any of the other placebos. It could cure some people and make others happy.

  2. One Eyed Jack
    August 11, 2013 at 11:45 AM


  3. Chris Howard
    August 11, 2013 at 12:09 PM

    Happiness is necessary, but not sufficient.

  4. August 11, 2013 at 4:18 PM

    That stuff will destroy a car’s finish…

  5. Chris
    August 11, 2013 at 6:50 PM

    Well it beats seeping sewage:

    Edamaruku said his exposure of the weeping statue was also a contribution to public health in Mumbai as some believers were drinking the water hoping it could cure ailments. “This was sewage water seeping through a wall due to faulty plumbing,” he said. “It posed a health risk to people who were fooled into believing it was a miracle.”

    More on Edamaruku: http://doubtfulnews.com/2012/11/where-the-truth-is-blasphemy-the-edamaruku-case/

  6. August 12, 2013 at 3:31 PM

    My initial reaction to these type of things is to want to laugh, but there really isn’t anything funny about the desperation of some people. It this case it is rather harmless, but it angers me when folks take advantage of this desire in people for some ‘divine’ intervention.

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