Jesus had the power of invisibility, says ‘fan fiction’ from the Bible

Best thing I read ALL DAY.

Shape-Shifting Jesus Described in Ancient Egyptian Text | Passion of Jesus & Easter | LiveScience.

A newly deciphered Egyptian text, dating back almost 1,200 years, tells part of the crucifixion story of Jesus with apocryphal plot twists, some of which have never been seen before.

Written in the Coptic language, the ancient text tells of Pontius Pilate, the judge who authorized Jesus’ crucifixion, having dinner with Jesus before his crucifixion and offering to sacrifice his own son in the place of Jesus. It also explains why Judas used a kiss, specifically, to betray Jesus — because Jesus had the ability to change shape, according to the text — and it puts the day of the arrest of Jesus on Tuesday evening rather than Thursday evening, something that contravenes the Easter timeline.

Mind blown. So, as I understand this, there were fan-fiction spinoffs from the Bible? I like this version even better. Even MORE paranormal activity.

Jesus becomes invisible. He appears as an eagle in dream visions. He was either a master of disguise or could change the way he looked. Like a cuttlefish? This is awesome.

The article notes, “the discovery of the text doesn’t mean these events happened, but rather that some people living at the time appear to have believed in them.” Apocryphal stories were popular among the Egyptian Christians. So which is the correct story? The world may never know. But this version is delightful.

COMMENTING ON SOMEONE ELSE'S SITE IS NOT A RIGHT, IT'S A PRIVILEGE. READ AND UNDERSTAND THE COMMENT POLICY BEFORE SUBMITTING. NONSENSE IS NOT PERMITTED.

  10 comments for “Jesus had the power of invisibility, says ‘fan fiction’ from the Bible

  1. Chris Howard
    March 12, 2013 at 3:30 PM

    I wonder if he had spidey-sense, too!

  2. Douglas Boyle
    March 12, 2013 at 3:45 PM

    If only we could just print that disclaimer “The discovery of the text doesn’t mean these events happened, but rather that some people living at the time appear to have believed in them.” on the front page of every Bible.

  3. RDW
    March 12, 2013 at 3:49 PM

    This sounds Highly Dubious, Ms. Hill, Ma’am. { : )

  4. Eve
    March 12, 2013 at 4:18 PM

    Van den Broek wrote a guest post about his edition on Alin Suciu’s blog.

  5. One Eyed Jack
    March 12, 2013 at 4:45 PM

    “there were fan-fiction spinoffs from the Bible?”

    Every fantasy series with a large following eventually spawns some sort of fan fiction.

  6. March 12, 2013 at 4:53 PM

    Wow! This fan-fic is far better than the one where Jesus went to Hogwarts, fought an army of atheists furries and made out with Megan Fox while Optimus Prime crucified Mickey Mouse!

  7. Chris Jensen Romer
    March 12, 2013 at 5:04 PM

    “He was either a master of disguise or could change the way he looked.” That is in the mainstream Gospels, discussing the Resurrection appearances. Is it the road to Emmaus? Jesus travels with a couple of disciples for a way, but they do not initially recognise him? Yep – Luke 24:13-35. Very strange story: there are other examples of this sort of thing — Matthew 28:16-17 are the sceptic’s verses “16 Then the eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain where Jesus had told them to go. 17 When they saw him, they worshiped him; but some doubted.” These are his closest followers — and if something odd did not happen, if this was simply invented, this would be a bizarre thing to put in the story given that the literary devices we are familiar with do not exist in a developed form.

    (Obviously some did – Wrede demonstrated in the 19th century the Messianic Secret motif in Mark for example. Form and Redaction criticism sources will tell you far more than I can here.) Still, odd stuff. Note the Risen Jesus is also physical, yet appears in locked rooms, etc, etc in these Gospel accounts. hey are weird enough without the gnostic stuff! :)

  8. Warren
    March 12, 2013 at 5:11 PM

    I’m genuinely confused by this. Everything you described is in the gnostic texts. They were well known at the time of creation and have never been lost to the best of my knowledge. Not sure how they could have been “discovered.” Is Dan Brown working on a sequel to “The deVinci Code”?

  9. March 13, 2013 at 3:40 PM

    Jesus fan-fic puts me in mind of the Robot Chicken “Jesus and the Argonauts”, particularly the bit where the cyclops keeps clubbing Jesus into the ground, and Jesus keeps resurrecting.

  10. March 14, 2013 at 4:37 PM

    “there were fan-fiction spinoffs from the Bible?”

    Does the movie “Life of Brian” qualify?

    I just finished the giant chapter of A Cabinet of Medical Curiosities: A Compendium of the Odd, the Bizarre, and the Unexpected. I don’t have it with me in this coffee shop, but it described someone claiming to find lost chapters of the Bible confirming giants were real, his fraud was discovered. (spoilers: the giant bones found between 1600-1800 belonged to mammoths and whales).

    Would the “Book of Mormon” be considered fan fiction.

Comments are closed.