Sports woo illustrated: Catch up on the latest athletic gimmicks

The new sports WOO! Power balance pseudoscience repackaged. Same exact stuff.

S.W.A.T.S. — Sports with Alternatives to Steroids

Tracing the involvement of NFL, college football players with S.W.A.T.S. – NFL –

Key began by telling the players that there would be thousands of cellphones in the Superdome the following night and that frequencies from those phones would be swirling through their bodies. “They’re going to affect you guys very negatively,” Key said rapidly and with a twang. “We figured out a way to manipulate that so that you aren’t affected . . . [to] give you strength, give you balance, give you flexibility and help with pain.”

[…]while holding the phone to Dial’s chest, Key easily forced the player’s arm down to his side. Dial smirked, bemused. “What happened,” Key said, “was the frequencies from the phone, as soon as they came into your energy field, they zapped ya, like a Taser.”

OMGosh! Applied Kinesiology! ARE YOU EFFIN KIDDING ME?

Ah yes, there is a remedy for the frequencies:

…stickers, which he calls chips, bearing holograms of a pyramid. Key told the players that on game day they should place the chips on three acupuncture points — one on the inside of each wrist before they tape their arms (the chips also come embedded in bracelets), and one over the heart. “It’s going to help your heart have so much more energy,” he said. “Come the fourth quarter, you guys will not be gassed at all.”


Do you remember Power Balance wristbands?

This article is chock full of sports woo. And they don’t hide it either. Check out this quote.

Modern science may scoff at holographic stickers and negatively charged water, but that matters little if the right athlete becomes a believer or, better yet, a proselytizer. The boundaries of medical science expand at too glacial a pace for many athletes desperate to enhance their performance. That desperation, in turn, represents a business opportunity for self ordained sports science entrepreneurs operating in the shadowy, multibillion-dollar athletic-supplement industry.

Check out this piece. It’s worth it. YOU MUST read to the end where a scientist is quoted. In context this time.

Here is how Applied Kinesiology works

Tip: @IAmZeeEggman on Twitter

  4 comments for “Sports woo illustrated: Catch up on the latest athletic gimmicks

  1. RDW
    January 29, 2013 at 7:24 PM

    Oscillators !?!?!? You must have some sort of “Craziness” filter on your computer, Ms. Hill.

  2. Chipshotz
    January 30, 2013 at 1:46 AM

    There is one born every minute.

  3. Brian
    January 30, 2013 at 7:35 PM

    Bah. I can do one better- with water ionized quartz slivers! Guaranteed to deflect bad harmonic vibrations from 5th dimentional harmful entites impinging on our own 3rd and 4th dimensional vibrations. They use cellphone towers, electrical outlets, and even electrical storms to mess with your 3rd eye and certain glands, keeping you from your best performance. The Io-Quartz sets up a ‘personal forcefield’ by combining the piezioelectric abilities of quartz with the positive ions of the water.

    Once one knows some of the words and a faint meaning of the terms- and can get some backing, anyone can bilk people out of millions.

  4. February 5, 2013 at 3:07 PM

    Holograms?! There was once a store in our local mall in the early 1990s which sold only holograms. It was no wonder I always felt better in that store… Or maybe it was the smell of the pretzel stand outside…

    I’ve seen Applied Kinesiology used in “nutrition” stores by people trying to sell some magical herb or even crystals at one point. Sadly, nutrition stores really have no ethical barometer and will push anything regardless if it works. I like the answers I get when I ask what would happen if I took a whole bottle of homeopathic pills, Randi style.

    Wristbands are still being sold at kiosks at a mall by my house, right next to the Dianetics stand oddly enough.

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