Serious paranormal Investigator wanted: Must operate gizmos with blinky lights and stuff

HAHA! Paranormal investigator wanted… must be experienced.

Paranormal Investigator Position | Big Fish Games.

Big Fish is seeking a talented Paranormal Investigator to work with our Studios team and help them understand the mysteries of the spirit realm. Paranormal Investigator works within a team that provides a scientific investigation into paranormal phenomena. Successful applicants will train our Studios Team in paranormal investigation techniques and use of equipment along with discussion in emerging theories of paranormal research.

Skills, experience and educational requirements:

  • 2+ years of ghost hunting or related research experience
  • Ability to operate EMF detectors, ION detectors, Geiger counters, IR cameras, Tri-Field meters, Gaussmasters and other ghost detection devices effectively
  • Proficient working with Mediums/Demonologists/Spiritual Leaders.

So “scientific” once again means “can use things with blinky lights”. It does not mean (never does) IS a scientist and KNOWS how to do ACTUAL SCIENTIFIC RESEARCH. Cause that’s not necessary. And probably would result in much LESS paranormal activity confirmed.

I don’t qualify because I’m a scientist who is NOT proficient in working with medium or demonologists, because that’s nonsense.

Emerging theories? Would that be the plethora of speculation in really poorly written books?

This has been your snark for Friday night.

Want more on how unscientific ghost hunters are?

Try these:
Ghost Hunting – Sham Inquiry

“Scientific”: It’s just a catchphrase!

Amateur Paranormal Research and Investigation Groups Doing ‘Sciencey’ Things

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  6 comments for “Serious paranormal Investigator wanted: Must operate gizmos with blinky lights and stuff

  1. One Eyed Jack
    November 3, 2012 at 9:07 AM

    Head, nail, hit on.

    Knowledge of scientific methodology and critical thinking skills not required.

    I’m a bit surprised that the ad doesn’t ask for someone with uncorrected vision. You can’t look credible operating “things with blinky lights” unless you wear glasses.

  2. November 5, 2012 at 12:32 PM

    Keep in mind, Big Fish Games is a creator of many casual mobile games. So, I am sure this is for some crazy game concept.

  3. November 5, 2012 at 1:19 PM

    Well…

    I actually do have some experience with the equipment in question. I used to make money on the side by repairing, refurbishing, calibrating and re-selling test equipment that I bought from various sources like government surplus auctions.

    I can tell you, from having watched a few of those shows, that they usually have either no idea at all how to work the equipment or are using the entirely wrong instrument for what they are claiming to do.

    For one, geiger counters can be expected to click every once in a while simply due to the random distribution of background radiation. A couple of clicks means nothing. However, if you get a lot of activity on one in a basement it means there is radon, not ghosts. If it happens near a fireplace or other masonry, it means there is uranium or thorium in the rock.

    Good industry-quality EMF meters are expensive. Actually, they are broken down into a few categories, but generally are for either detecting near-field interference or isotropic radiation distribution. The ones they use on TV are el-cheapo imitations nearly all of the time, which are useless for pretty much anything and are sold to people afraid of cell phones etc.

    What they generally call a gaussmeter is normally nor a true gaussmeter. A real one usually has a precision hall-effect sensor. They measure DC magnetic fields. There are also inductive field meters, which is something else. Usually they use the AC meters or inductive field meters. A gaussmeter will only tell you if a magnetic field is present. But they use inductive meters and use them wrong. You can’t use a meter like that while it is moving, because moving it in even a weak magnetic field will induce currents in it. You have to hold it still to take a static measurement. They wave them around and wave them around metal objects. Then they are surprised that they show a high reading? Of course they did. You’re waving it around a metal object and thus inducing currents in it.

    Tri-field meters are supposedly invented for ghost hunting. They are usually simple EMF/RF field detectors with very cheap and non-precise components in them.

    I’m not sure what they mean by “ion detector” since that could mean a number of different things.

    I think if I were on that team I’d knock the wind out of their sails pretty quickly just by telling them how to properly use the “ghost hunting equipment” to take more reliable ambient measurement, which I’m pretty sure would make most of the interesting and unexplained readings go away.

  4. November 5, 2012 at 1:50 PM

    Yeah, Big Fish has absolutely nothing to do with paranormal investigation. I think this is some sort of jokey promo, not an actual job listing.

    • November 5, 2012 at 2:10 PM

      What would be the point? Are they making a new game, maybe? BE A PARANORMAL INVESTIGATOR! That would be cool. Maybe people would do that instead of trespassing in real places.

      • November 5, 2012 at 3:53 PM

        I need to not read on mobile all the time. I erred in saying this isn’t a real job post. Most of Big Fish’s games are hidden-object adventure games, and many of them have to do with the paranormal. Maybe they’re looking to make a game or some games (it’s only a one-month contract) and want the ghost-hunting part to be as “accurate” as possible? Whatever they consider “accurate” to be. I have definitely been impressed by the research in some of their games. I also see the person needs to be on camera. Perhaps for live-video segments in a game? I’m kind of intrigued now!

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