I call your secession and raise you a deportation.

Ah, elections and the aftermath…

States petition to secede from union

As the dust settles in the wake of President Obama’s decisive reelection last Tuesday, the White House petition website has been flooded by a series of secession requests, with malcontents from New Jersey to North Dakota submitting petitions to allow their states to withdraw from the union.

Most of the petitions submitted thus far have come from solidly conservative states, including most of the Deep South and reliably separatist Texas.

Claim: Fifteen states have filed petitions to secede from the United States.

Truth? Not exactly. Since the election, several petitions have been posted to collect signatures calling for several states to secede (some sites say up to 30 states are represented). You can sign the petition if you feel so inclined. None of these petitions are anything official, they are expressions of opinion, free speech. None of the petitions have the authorization from the governor of the said state. The petitions on the “We the People” site require 25,000 signatures before they will illicit a response from the White House.

Some, like (“reliably separatist”) Texas have reportedly reached the response threshold. I have no idea what the response will be other than, “Thank you for your comments. We will take them into consideration. Goodbye”.

In reply, a new petition has been launched.

We petition the Obama administration to:

Deport Everyone That Signed A Petition To Withdraw Their State From The United States Of America.

That currently only has 700-some signatures. But you can see where this is going…

I really wonder if anyone has actually THOUGHT about what it means to withdraw from the Union? There are other places that would be happy to enter in your place.

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  29 comments for “I call your secession and raise you a deportation.

  1. Lisa Barth
    November 13, 2012 at 12:01 PM

    And where would those states go for aid in times of crisis such as natural disasters if not the federal government?

    • snoma
      November 13, 2012 at 12:09 PM

      I’m not sure about how a secession would work but I would assume that if they seceeded from the union, wouldn’t that just make them an independent nation of their own? Thus they would have their own federal government for such purposes?

    • twh
      November 13, 2012 at 7:52 PM

      Same place all the other foreign countries do: the US taxpayers and charity organizations.

  2. Mr. Shreck
    November 13, 2012 at 12:03 PM

    Whether their motives are sane or not, those petitioning for secession are doing so according to political principles not dissimilar to those on which the US was founded. Whether their motives are funny or not, those petitioning for deportations are just being jerks.

    http://www.constitution.org/hs/ignore_state.htm

    • November 13, 2012 at 12:05 PM

      But a petition to the president won’t work. He hasn’t the authority to grant it.

      • snoma
        November 13, 2012 at 12:12 PM

        Just how would a secession from the union go? Would the state have to have a vote about it and then the US government would have a another vote to either approve or disapprove of it?

        • Mr. Shreck
          November 13, 2012 at 12:35 PM

          If the last time it was attempted is any indication, the simple answer is probably “Not very well.”

        • November 13, 2012 at 12:46 PM

          It has to come from some official, top down, who is in charge. Like the governor. They would need to set up their own replacement federal government and vote to leave. I’m doubtful it will ever happen.

          • Mr. Shreck
            November 13, 2012 at 1:02 PM

            The states do not need to form a new federal government because the nature of the federal government is that is the one that unites and supersedes the states’ authority, which is generally what the secessionists take issue with. They view the fed as bulky, remote, and bullying.

            http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Federal_government_of_the_United_States

            Lots of good historical info here:

            http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Secession

            And my favorite piece of political theory on the right to secession at all levels:

            http://www.constitution.org/hs/ignore_state.htm

            • November 13, 2012 at 1:06 PM

              So they would not form a replacement government? It would be anarchy? I’m thinking individual states, not that they would coalesce under another banner.

              • Mr. Shreck
                November 13, 2012 at 1:13 PM

                They would have a government, their state governments. I just meant to clarify the terms. They would not have a Federal government, because that means a government that joins the separate states, like counties or parishes are their own governments but collectively governed by the states.

      • Mr. Shreck
        November 13, 2012 at 12:34 PM

        I definitely agree there! As far as skeptical news goes, I’d welcome a story on whether these Whitehouse petitions are anything but a panacea for net users who want to feel like they did something. Based on the few I know of, they’ve been winked and nodded at much as suggested above. That’s nice, little one, now run along and let the adults take care of things… :-)

        • November 13, 2012 at 12:44 PM

          Yes. I think they are mostly that. If you are serious about change, this is not the route you take. But, the media pays attention to these things, their coverage makes other people notice and it snowballs. This is happening with this story.

          • Mr. Shreck
            November 13, 2012 at 1:24 PM

            One should never underestimate the power of drawing attention! The media effect is important. In this case, I think it sadly tends to be mostly a lot of “look at these wackos” coverage. It doesn’t help that the very idea of secession is tainted with the history of the US civil war as written by the winners. Many people jump immediately to the idea of institutional racism and armed conflict because they’ve been taught that’s what secession originates in and leads to respectively. In the fundamental political theory there is no such connection but our past bedevils us on this topic, clouding a lot of people’s thinking on it.

            We also tend to have a strong status quo bias for the strong federal government because since the civil war, nobody has known anything different and the reach and influence of the fed has has grown through the generations. Many people seem to assume without that strong hand there we will descend into chaos. I’m… er… skeptical.

  3. November 13, 2012 at 1:15 PM

    I signed the Texas petition. :-) Please leave.

  4. Rand
    November 13, 2012 at 1:42 PM

    Michigan, New Jersey, New York… really? All states where the majority voted for Obama. And especially New York? Seriously? The Liberal bastion of America secceding from the Union because the not quite as Right Wing as the Other Guy won the presidency? The Guy who a very overwhelming majority in that state voted for?

    These petitions are nothing but Jokes. Probably started by Occupy or a similar group to get Rush foaming at the mouth. Texas… well maybe someone was serious about that one (had a governor blathering on about wanting to withdraw from the union before he ran for president of said union after all). But all the rest? Someone is playing jokes.

    And does it count if I, as a resident of a new england state, sign a petition for Texas to withdraw? Or do we need a separate petition to forcibly kick them out?

    • oldebabe
      November 13, 2012 at 7:04 PM

      Yes, I agree, i.e. it’s just a lot of joking, or ignorant bravado. Obviously, they have no idea what would result from a State’s secession and/or how it would affect the residents/citizens of that State.

      • November 13, 2012 at 10:53 PM

        I think on paper it would be a wonderful thing. Ideally our taxes would support the needs of the people and not the corruption of Washington. It would leave the state untied to the illegal and costly wars, the burgening debt and insane federal laws made to instate a facist regeim. I personally would love to get my money back from the feds I paid for almost 4 decades in SSDI and be able to buy a home or land, vote locally and on issues we care about.. and get out from under this ever increasingly corrupt and bad Federal Government.. Let them hang themselves. I for one do not believe we are in danger of attack if we would keep our noses out of the business of war for profit.. and stop being the “empire” of the world. I think that our quality of life, our healthcare, education, and safety would all better from ending out ties to Washington. On paper. Then again, if our populous continues to be brainwashed by Faux News and such, then they will continue to vote for idiots like McCain and Arpio as here in AZ.. maybe Anarchy is best..

  5. Rand
    November 13, 2012 at 1:52 PM

    the numbers on that deportation petition are starting to go up pretty fast… over 400 more just in the couple minutes since I signed it…

  6. Rand
    November 13, 2012 at 1:56 PM

    Hmm. It appears there was already another petition about exiling secessionists…

    https://petitions.whitehouse.gov/petition/strip-citizenship-everyone-who-signed-petition-secede-and-exile-them/ZbMjcwPf

  7. Moose McNuggets
    November 13, 2012 at 2:50 PM

    Up here in Alaska, the Alaskan Independence Party has been at it for decades. Bunch of cranky old farts who honestly believe we could make it as an independent nation. In 1990 they even got Wally Hickel elected governor under their banner, although he quickly hopped back to the Republicans once he took office (long story).

    Here’s their FAQ page:

    http://www.akip.org/faqs.html

    Curiously, if you click on the “goals” hyperlink, you get a blank page. However, as skeptics, we probably shouldn’t read too much into that.

  8. Jared
    November 13, 2012 at 3:33 PM

    Well, this is great. Just deport anyone who goes against the federal government. I’m sure thats what the founding fathers had in mind. This is disgusting.

  9. Rand
    November 13, 2012 at 3:36 PM

    Does anyone know if there is a way to get statistics off the petition pages? For instance, I would be curious to know what percentage of people signing to let Texas secede are actually from Texas?

  10. Phil
    November 13, 2012 at 8:21 PM

    Ladies and gentlemen, just some housekeeping. Your replies to replies are getting so squashed in reply boxes that they are rendered unreadable on an iPhone. I’m sure they were informative but we can’t read them.

  11. G
    November 13, 2012 at 11:25 PM

    Yeah…A lot of the people signing each petition are not actually in the state mentioned in the petition, so “strip everyone who signed of their citizenship and deport them” isn’t quite rational. Heh, I thought about signing the Texas one too, and I’ve been to Texas once, I think, if you don’t count changing planes at Dallas/Ft. Worth. A lot of people are signing for amusement value, and some of them are saying, “Yeah, let those suckers go, we don’t need them” (also, I think, amusement value).

  12. November 14, 2012 at 3:30 AM

    I’m currently living in a village that seceded from the town we were part of, several years ago. There have been numerous secession movements in many different states over the years, as well as parts of states (sometimes to form a separate state, sometimes to form a separate nation). Some secession movements are done more as a form of protest than a serious proposal.

    Anyway, it’s gotten harder in the US to have a difference of opinion and not be seen as being a bad person or unamerican, a secret muslim, a socialist, or just someone who’s going to destroy everything that ‘we believe in’, whatever that means. It partly stems from all of the scare tactics, not all of which come directly from the campaigns. Some of it his hyped in the media just because they want to create a story (the 24 hour news game is tough). Never mind that they are touting an opinion that may only be held by a few crazies — if it makes for good television, it becomes the next sound byte. Numbers and facts can be boring — wild speculation is much more entertaining. So in that kind of world where it seems that disaster is around every corner, secession may not feel so outrageous an idea.

  13. November 15, 2012 at 11:04 AM

    It’s absolutely ridiculous and childish.

    People have the right to not like Obama’s policies in general or specific policies. They have the right to not be happy with the way the election turned out.

    If they actually feel that something Obama does or wants to do is against the greater good of the country, there are ways of fighting it. They can oppose a policy in the courts, or they can try to use the powers of the state legislatures or appeal to congress.

    This country was built such that no one person can ever control everything.

    Nobody loses their say completely with an election. If you care about the United States and feel that those in power are not going to help the country, then you should really try to make your voice heard and not just up and leave.

  14. sgesghhfh
    November 16, 2012 at 2:24 AM
    • G
      November 16, 2012 at 9:41 AM

      Now this is just all getting too silly. Where’s Graham Chapman when you need him?

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