A rash of flesh eating incidents sparks CDC clarification: Zombies don’t exist

Zombie Apocalypse: CDC Denies Existence Of Zombies Despite Cannibal Incidents.

The horrific face-eating arrest in Miami and several other seemingly subhuman acts has many people wondering what’s behind this flesh-munching wave of terror.

A zombie apocalypse, however, is not what we should be worried about, at least according to the federal government.

Over the years the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has released a couple of tongue-in-cheek “zombie warnings,” which really are just disaster-preparedness stunts. But on Thursday, the agency made it official: Zombies don’t exist.

“CDC does not know of a virus or condition that would reanimate the dead (or one that would present zombie-like symptoms),” wrote agency spokesman David Daigle in an email to The Huffington Post.

Nevertheless, recent incidents in which humans reportedly ate human flesh have the Internet in a firestorm, with “zombie apocalypse” being Google’s third most popular search term by Friday morning.

Tip: Fark.com

Well of course not. Zombies are a hot topic though considering the popularity of them on TV and in films, especially recently. But is this a case of an increase in such incidents or the reporting of them? It’s unclear.

Comments are moderated. Please follow the Comment Policy.
Only thoughtful additions and pertinent opinions will be approved.

  11 comments for “A rash of flesh eating incidents sparks CDC clarification: Zombies don’t exist

  1. David
    June 1, 2012 at 10:51 PM


  2. F89
    June 2, 2012 at 1:09 PM

    I gues we shouldn’t be suprised that some people believe that this could happen. Of course, it isn’t helped by the propular fiction inspired ” the gov’t is covering it up to keep us from panicking” line.

  3. luvmyGod4eva
    June 2, 2012 at 2:37 PM

    One word….REVELATION…..? (Or maybe that new drug “bath salts” making people crazy….you decide!)

  4. Massachusetts
    June 2, 2012 at 6:31 PM

    Probably not a Zombie Apocalypse, but perhaps a Zombie-ish Apocalypse:


    • F89
      June 2, 2012 at 8:00 PM

      Darn it, Mass- you played the Cracked Card! :) Side note: it is an intresting article.

  5. Massachusetts
    June 2, 2012 at 8:31 PM

    Thanks. Definitely good science fiction if nothing else. I don’t foresee dead corpses ever rising to devour ous, but the brain-damaged / psycho angle is a remote possibility (we actually did have that exemplified in the article, for one person, didn’t we?)

  6. Sean Elliott
    June 3, 2012 at 11:45 PM

    I tend to think a zombie apocalypse would be pretty easy to deal with. How many dead bodies do we have in one place at any given time that would be functional? I am guessing that most would be badly decayed, if not useless. I imagine the entire zombie uprising would be a pathetic affair.

  7. Kilgore Trout
    June 5, 2012 at 2:04 PM

    Insurance plans will not cover zombies or lycanthropes (clearly a case of ddiscrimination); but vampires may be elligible for some dental plans.

    • Massachusetts
      June 10, 2012 at 1:52 PM

      There is a real lycnanthropy though. It’s a psychiatric condition: the afflicted person believes he’s a werewolf and acts like it, but without the physical transformation of the legendary condition:


  8. Sids
    June 7, 2012 at 12:14 AM

    I’d wager ‘zombie apocalypse’ is one of the top search terms every day.

  9. Massachusetts
    June 10, 2012 at 1:49 PM

    The Florida flesh-eaters girlfriend blames drugs or Voodoo for his behavior. Apparently voodoo is an equally viable cause? Hmmm…


Comments are closed.